Автор lawyer.bg
May 13, 2009
you are f%kin married!
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies
So, he said to his new wife, ‘Honey, I’ll be right back.’
‘Where are you going, coochy cooh?’ asked the wife.
‘I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’ m going to have a beer.’
The wife said, ‘You want a beer, my love?’
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, ‘Yes, lolly pop…but at the bar..you know…they have frozen glasses…’
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, ‘You want a frozen glass, puppy face?’
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, ‘Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long, I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?’
You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?’ She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
‘But my sweet honey… At the bar… You know…there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…’
‘You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f%cking beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf%cking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren’t f%cking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?’
So, he said to his new wife, ‘Honey, I’ll be right back.’
‘Where are you going, coochy cooh?’ asked the wife.
‘I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’ m going to have a beer.’
The wife said, ‘You want a beer, my love?’
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, ‘Yes, lolly pop…but at the bar..you know…they have frozen glasses…’
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, ‘You want a frozen glass, puppy face?’
She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, ‘Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long, I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?’
You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?’ She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
‘But my sweet honey… At the bar… You know…there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…’
‘You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your f%cking beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherf%cking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren’t f%cking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?’
……….and, they lived happily ever after.
Popularity: 19% [?]
Автор lawyer.bg
May 13, 2009
diseases
YOU BE THE JUDGE !!!
Don’t know if this is just a sick coincidence but….
2007 – Chinese year of the Chicken – Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia
2008 – Chinese year of the Horse – Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing
2009 – Chinese year of the Pig – Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.
Has any one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It gets worse……..
next year……
2010 – Chinese year of the Cock – what could possibly go wrong?
Popularity: 19% [?]
Автор lawyer.bg
October 20, 2007
does mommy love you?
йоланта вече тотално РјРµ отказа РѕС‚ сутреС?РЅР° закуска, РїР° била тя Рё чаС?Р° мляко СЃ мед. Рё аз РїРѕРЅСЏРєРѕРіР° СЃСЉРј раздразнителен сутрин, кисел, несговорчив, РЅРѕ чак РїСЉРє толкова… хайде холан!
do not try this at home! we need those little chicks. let them grow. aftewards – grill ‘em!
Popularity: 23% [?]
Автор lawyer.bg
October 2, 2007
does size matter?
What is 18cm lenght and makes women happy ?
– 18 cm!
Popularity: 19% [?]
Автор lawyer.bg
September 28, 2007
marriage is…
WHAT IS MARRIAGE ?
a 30 point answer
1. Marriage is not a word. It’s a sentence (a life sentence).
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffeRING.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Popularity: 21% [?]
Автор lawyer.bg
September 21, 2007
chain.mail.again??
Picture of Mary :
The President of Argentina received this picture and called it “junk mail”, 8 days later his son died. A man received this picture and immediately sent out copies…his surprise was winning the lottery.
Alberto Martinez received this picture, gave it to his secretary to make copies but they forgot to distribute: she los t her job and he lost his family.
This picture is miraculous and sacred, don’t forget to forward this within 13 days to at least 20 people. Do Not Forget to forward and you will receive a huge surprise!!
Popularity: 19% [?]
Автор lawyer.bg
September 3, 2007
application form
мотивационно писмо и молба за работа. на английски. have phun!
Deer Sur,
I waunt to apply for the secritary job I seen in the paper. I can type real kwik wit one finggar and do sum Acounting 2.I think I am good on the fone and I am a pepole person. Pepole really seam to respond good to me.
Im lookin for a jobb as a secritary but it kant be 2 complikaited
My spelling is not 2 good but find that I awfin get a job Bcuz of my persinalety.
My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am wurth,
I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse 4 yore anser.
Hopifuly I M Yore best aplicant so phar.
Sinseerly,
Peggy May McBiggins
PS : I half includeded a pickture of me B low.
.
Employer’s response:
Dear Peggy May,It’s OK, we have spell check.
Popularity: 20% [?]
